“Hi. First of all, don’t freak out: she’s okay.”
We’ve all gotten calls like that. Which doesn’t make them any less alarming.
(She really is okay, by the by, just a bit sad and uncomfortable and the sorry recipient of a very important life lesson.)
But an even worse opening to a conversation?
“Hi. You need to come home. Right now. The doctor said we’ve got to take Max to the emergency room. Immediately.”
(She’s also okay, by the by, just the genetic beneficiary of her mother’s and maternal grandmother’s low blood pressure which, when combined with a virus, leads to a sudden and most upsetting albeit very temporary lack of consciousness.)
Whatever happened to: “Hi! I just called to say I love you!”
(Oh. That’s right. That sucks too. Just in a very different way.)