So someone mentioned to me that this here piece from
yesterday on what I’d do if I were president of this great nation of ours bears
some resemblance to this piece from years back.
And they’re right. It does. Because I've been fairly
consistent, I think, throughout my life in believing we have an obligation to
help those who cannot help themselves, an obligation which is both moral, as
human beings, and self-interested, as it does tend to lead to better outcomes
all around in the long run. In other words, even if I never send my kids to the
local school, having a good school system to turn out well-educated individuals
will benefit me as a citizen. This holds true even if I didn’t have kids. Which
I do. A whole heapin’ mess o’ ‘em. Emphasis on mess. (No reflection on Top
Management’s outstanding housekeeping skills.)
So. I believe in helping those less fortunate because it is
right and because it is good policy—two great tastes that taste great together.
But I also believe in holding those in positions of tremendous responsibility
to the highest standards of accountability. You make $50,000,000 and you screw
up, you go down and you go down damn hard. Hard.
(Huh. Just occurred to me: this is a really
superhero-influenced view of the world—with great power comes great
responsibility and all that. Must think more on this later.)
But there’s one other thing I’d do if I could, although it’s
really more for when I'm the undisputed (yet oh so benevolent) Emperor of the
There really are roughly 365 days in a year, roughly 30 days
in a month and roughly 24 hours in a day. Not exactly, of course, which is why
we have leap years and blue moons. But roughly.
But the seven day week? Totally arbitrary. Which means it’s
changeable. By me.
Therefore, when I have power over the day-to-day workings of
the planet, I shall institute the eight day week. So we’ll all (well…I guess you all, at that point) will still have the usual five
day work week. But every weekend shall be three days long.
And my praises shall be sung forevermore.