Category Archives: Weblogs

He Hate Me

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Posted in Weblogs | 2 Comments

A Bargain at Twice the Price

Did I say twice? I mean seven million times! Or best offer. Hit me! Operators are sitting by. My blog is worth $7,339.02.How much is your blog worth? H/T: Charlottesville Words

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The Real Me

Hey, whoever keeps googling “scott peterson update 2007”—you do know I’m not that other guy, yes? I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s nice having you here and all. I just don’t want you to be disappointed. Or to stalk … Continue reading

Posted in Weblogs | 3 Comments

Lock Up the Children

Why do they say I was tagged thusly? This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words: bomb (80x) torture (6x) dick (3x) death (2x) suicide (1x) Let the record show that I suspect at least two … Continue reading

Posted in Weblogs | 6 Comments

So…Proud?

I’m the second Google hit for burned labia. The first hit if you’ve got Safe Search turned on, which removes the real first hit. Which, somehow unsurprisingly, is for Britney Spears. And to think my high school speech teacher said—okay, … Continue reading

Posted in Weblogs | 3 Comments

Even Prouder

I’m the fifth hit—out of 4,700,000—for I hate YouTube. [Which, of course, I don’t, or only in the same way I hate Pop-Tarts. Which is to say with a surfeit of love.]

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So Very Proud

I am the second hit for fingersticks the rolling stones bootlegs site. Suckas… [UPDATE: Now? I’m number one! I’m number one!]

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